Back from the brink...

Hi everyone. I've missed you! My flu bug turned out to be a severe kidney infection and landed me in the hospital. I'm still pretty weak and am returning to the hospital 2x a day for antibiotics via intervenous. Hopefully, I'll be able to write my blog tomorrow. Thanks for your love and prayers! Baby's fine, staying with Nana.

Bitten bad...

...by the flu bug. No entry today. I'm just too weak to type and too loopy to think. I hope your Easter was awesome!

Thy Will Be Done

I Come To The Garden Alone

I have been lucky enough to stand on The Mount of Olives. It is a holy place, and it is especially so for me as I grapple with this current heartache. For it was on the Mount of Olives, in the Garden of Gethsemene, that Christ taught us what it meant to trust God in the midst of suffering and to wait for His divine timing. It was also here that Jesus showed us His humanity and gave a way for me to know that He understands how I feel. In Mark 14:36 He said, "Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." In Luke 22:24, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." In those moments, Jesus experienced intense anguish and loneliness and grief. And yet, He knew that God had a plan and it was for His glory and Jesus trusted Him. I believe God allowed this to happen for me. I believe He allowed this to happen for you. God knew, that those of us who were to come, those of us who would know Him and Christ by faith alone, would need to understand that Jesus has suffered like we suffer. Christ understood what it meant to feel heartbreak and grief and sorrow. And then He showed us what to do. He told us to trust the Father to use it for our good. The crucifixion is life-changing for us, His resurrection offers us hope eternal, but it is this time, in the Garden of Gethsemene where I will meet Jesus this Easter. And He will "walk with me, and talk with me and tell me I am His own, and the joy we share as we tarry there, none other will ever know."

"When obstacles and trials seem

Like prison walls to me,

I do the little I can do

And leave the rest to Thee.
And when there seems

No chance, no change,

From grief can set me free,

Hope finds its strength in helplessness,

And calmly waits for Thee."

For Me

Unworthy

i

stood at the foot

of the cross

and looked up

at Him

and He

looked down

at me

and droplets

of His blood

splashed

at my feet

and my tears

fell

and mingled

and i knew

i

was not worthy

to stand here

and He said

My blood

your tears

mix

and you are cleansed

and you are loved

and you are forgiven

and you are Mine

i fell

forward

and kissed His feet

i felt

true love

and i knew

oh

i knew

it was for me

for me

for me

He died

and i cried

because

i

was not

worthy

Your Prayers Bring Healing

Philippians 1:19 ~ "Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance."

Right now, right in the middle of the thing that "has happened to me" it is hard to imagine that it will turn out for my deliverance. That any good can come of it at all. How can betrayal, hurt, disappointment and abandonment work for my good? And yet, God promises that it will.

Romans 8:28 ~ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, those who are called according to His purpose.

How do I rest in that promise? How do I claim that promise? How do I believe that promise to be true? Philippians 1:19 says that your prayers and the help of the Holy Spirit will accomplish what I need. You have all played a part in the healing that I have already received and the strength that is growing in me day by day. You have touched my life from all corners of this planet. And so, I want to thank each of you for your prayers. I believe, more and more, that this will turn out for my good, and more importantly, for the glory of Christ! As I crawl under my quilt tonight, I will thank God for you and trust in His plan.

Just a little picture of the love of my life! This is why I still find reason every day to smile, laugh, and experience joy. He is Christ's hug to me.

Time To Do Some Deep Cleaning

Kick Me...Please!

I don't know how the rest of you deal with stress and struggles in your lives, but I tend to 'shutdown'. I've always envied those people who are gifted with nervous energy and seem to be boosted into high gear when stressed. That's not me. I have really noticed over the past couple of months since my husband left, that I am finding it harder and harder to get motivated to do just about anything. I take good care of my son, feed him, play with him, love him with all my heart...and that's about all I can manage! I certainly haven't been taking care of myself like I should be. The weight has creeped up (I'm definitely an emotional eater) and the house, though tidy enough, is really only surface clean. I just don't feel like doing much of anything. The problem with living in this unmotivated state, is that it tends to make a bad situation worse. My self-esteem takes a nose-dive. My energy levels plummet. I start to hermit and hide away. The brain knows...the body knows...the heart won't follow! I usually lie in bed at night and say, "tomorrow I'll be different. I'll get up early, I'll get all the laundry done, I'll put on the makeup and go out!" And then the morning comes, and I can't seem to get out of the flannel pj's! I know that God wants better of me. I know that this does not please Him. I know it doesn't please Him because He knows it hurts me. And so, I decided tonight, to share this struggle with you and promise to make a change. Since there's no way for you to actually look in my closet and see if my laundry is done, you'll just have to trust that I'll tell you the truth if asked. I truly believe that one thing God wants me to learn through all of this, is that I need to get moving, be motivated, finish what I start, lose some weight and be healthy for me and my son, be more than just 'surface clean' and I'm not just talking about my house. As I crawl under my quilt tonight, I will ask the Father to grant me the strength I need to make positive changes in my life. I want to be the woman of God that He so longs for me to be. I recognize I can't be perfect, put I certainly can be better. Much better!

Psa 73:26 ~ My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psa 28:7 ~ The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, so I am helped, and my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

Stepping Out Of The Boat And Into The Waves

The Voice Of Truth

"Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!""
You'll never win!"

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth"

~ By Casting Crowns

As I crawl under my quilt tonight, I will make a choice to listen to the voice of truth. And if you're reading this, and you are in a battle for your life, and negative voices rain down around you, drenching you in anger, hurt, disillusionment, discouragement, hopelessness...choose with me to listen to the voice that fills us with love and peace and hope. Say it out loud. "I choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth." All the strength we need. All the power we need. All the victory we need. It's all wrapped up like a gift in those words. Grab the scissors and cut the ribbon. Rip open the paper and tear apart the box! Hold up high what you know to be true. God is faithful. God is merciful. God is loving. God is kind. God is listening. God is TRUTH.

I Will Bend And Sway...But I Will Not Break!

Standing Firm

Thank you to those dear blogging buddies who allowed me to rant and share my feelings on last nights blog, even if they were angry. Today, I felt very much like the tree in the picture above. The winds were blowing, but I stood firm. There were tears today and feelings of lonliness, self-pity, frustration. You name it, I felt it! But I sit here tonight at my computer and I find myself still deeply rooted in God's love. And though the winds blow, I will bend and sway but I will not break. Also, like the tree above, I feel like I am standing alone on this shore and must learn what I must learn, and face what I must face, and endure what I must endure...alone. Yes, I can have friends to support me and pray for me. But ultimately, I must go through this on my own. I'm not afraid anymore. I was terrified just a couple of weeks ago. I was sure that I could not stand alone. I thought I would bend and break and fly into a million splinters. But God has been merciful to me. He has held me firm! Oh, how Satan would love to see me fall. There are moments when I am sure he is rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "Here she goes, any second now she's going to crumble and give up. Listen to her tears. She's so sad. She can't still believe that God loves her. Not in the midst of such despair." And then, my Saviour comes and His hands slip beneath my head. He raises me up and wipes away my tears and breathes His strength and power right into the core of me. And I feel a surge of love and peace. I feel hope. I feel such love for my husband. I am consumed with it! And Satan screams. As I crawl under my quilt tonight, I will claim this image as one representing this time in my life. Stormy but beautiful. An image of strength, endurance and victory!

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon. Psalm 92:12

Believing He Cares For Me

It's Okay To Be Angry...Right?

Today, I felt angry...at God. I felt let down, disappointed, unfairly treated, unloved. I'm pretty sure, that I have no right to be angry at the Creator of the Universe. It's a bit like an ant, having just been flicked off the watermelon, shouting up at the owner of the picnic basket. But I shouted up at Him none-the-less and called Him cruel and unkind. Can you imagine? Perhaps you can. Of course, my spirit knows this to NOT be true. I know that God, by His own words, cannot be cruel and unkind to His child. I know, of course, that the 'owner of this picnic basket' loves this 'little ant'. But oh! How life hurts some days. And no matter how much I believe (and I do!), or how hard I try (and I've tried!) I have days when I am holding on to my faith by sheer will power alone! And I believe that it is okay to let God know exactly how I feel. He knows anyways. As I crawl under my quilt tonight, I will remind God that I am just a wee ant and I need to be encouraged and I need to know Him in more tangible ways. And then, I will give up trying to know and just believe that "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." Isaiah 40:11 And I will rest in that promise, trust the shepherd and fall asleep.

Living In The Shadow Of The Damascus Gate

The Scent of Spices Still Lingers

When I was 20 years old, I moved to Israel for one year and worked in a youth hostel that was run by an American mission. It was a year filled with scents and sounds and images that still dance across my dreams, now 21 years later. The first time I stepped off of a bus in Jerusalem, I had the strangest sense that I had come home. Everything around me seemed vaguely familiar. Perhaps it was the bible stories that had been told to me in Sunday School. Remember those little paper figures and scenes that stuck to the flannelcloth board? Or maybe it was because my Lord walked the dusty roads here and as His child, I sensed His physical presence. Whatever it was, it washed over me and filled me up inside with warm feelings of familiarity and tender love. I lived for a while, in the shadow of the Damascus Gate. I awoke very early each morning and surged through the gate in a tide of donkeys and sandal clad men and veiled women. The call to prayer from the minerets echoed through the streets and stirred my senses in haunting ways. The smell of spices and hanging chickens and hot baked bagels wafted through the air as if on magic carpets, swirling around my head making me dizzy with their aromas. As I walked down the Via Del a Rosa, I dragged my hand along the stone walls and wondered if my Lord's hand ever touched in the exact same spot. It was a holy time for me. A connection to Christ that is hard to explain unless you have been there and walked the streets of old Jerusalem. I also lived up North in the city of Haifa. I traveled to Nazareth and closed my eyes for a moment as I entered the city and wondered what it looked like when Jesus was a boy. I dipped my toe in the Sea of Galilee and squinted into the horizon and tried to glimpse Jesus walking on the water. I was baptized in the Jordan River. Jesus was there. I scooped a handful of water at the pool of Bethesda and prayed for healing and wondered if Christ would have noticed me if I had been there that day He gave sight to the blind man. It's strange, but hardly a day goes by, now so many years later, that I don't have a moment where I am transported back to that amazing place, in that incredible time. I am so grateful that God allowed me to have that experience. As I crawl under my quilt tonight, I will remember that my life was not always sad. I had days of laughter, many of them, and beautiful, blessed experiences. I walked where Jesus walked. I dipped my hot feet into the same cool, refreshing places that He did. Thank you Jesus. For you saw into my future and knew that there would come a night like tonight, when I would need to look backwards for a moment and smile and remember and breath deeply and smell the spices of my life.

With Faith And Hard Work...Mission Possible

Taking A Leap Of Faith

Onward & Upward

Yesterday, I received my acceptance letter to return to University! After an audit was done of the courses I took waaaay back in the '80's, I was told that I only had 3 semesters to go to finish my B.A. degree! Then, after completing a 'professional year' I would have my Bachelors of Education and be a certified Elementary School teacher. I'm so excited to begin this new chapter. It's been incredibly healthy for me to have something positive to focus on and I feel a renewed sense of hope for my future. The catch is...I don't have anywhere near the money I need to go to University. I have applied for every kind of grant, award and bursary known to mankind. I will of course need to get student loans...but that still will not cover the cost. It is a very expensive University and I have no choice but to finish there as I have too many credits to transfer over to anywhere else. (The most I can transfer is 60 and I already have 91. Those extra 31 credits represent an entire year of study that would be lost.) However, my mother did not give me the middle name Faith for nothing! Let me tell you a little story.

Once upon a time, there was a man with a wife and 3 children who became a Christian and wanted to go to Bible School so he could be a Minister. Unfortunately, the Bible School was a couple of thousand miles away and he would have to move his entire family half way across the country to go. He applied anyways and received a letter of acceptance in the mail. He told his wife that he was sure this was what God wanted him to do and she supported her husbands calling. However, there was still the small detail of not having enough money to pay for tuition or living expenses. Still, he knew without a doubt that this was God's purpose for his life. So, on a warm British Columbia August morning, they set out in their old pickup truck, packed carefully with their few earthly treasures and with just enough money to pay for the gas to get to Saskatchewan. The wife packed sandwiches and fruit and homemade cookies and they hit the road powered by faith, motivated by trust and full of the joy of the Lord. It took them 3 days to get to Pambrum Bible College. When they arrived, they went to the Registrar's Office to see if they could make some kind of arrangements to work and pay for College. Well, low and behold, there was a letter waiting for them there. When the man opened the letter enough money to pay for the entire first year of school fell out. He cried and praised God and hugged his tearful wife. Then, the man behind the counter told them that food and lodgings for the entire family had also been taken care of. They moved their belongings into a converted dorm room and headed for class. God continued to provide for them in miraculous ways until the man finished bible school and was an ordained minister. That man was my father and I lived in that converted dorm room with my mother and 2 brothers.

So you see, I have a legacy of faith to continue on. I must believe that if this is what God wants for me, if this is the path I am meant to travel down, then I, Rebecca Faith, will live up to my name and move boldly forward into that great financial unknown! And if I am not to go, I will trust my Father that He has other plans for me. As I crawl under my quilt tonight, I will ask God to provide, then simply trust. I will do my part as best as I can to prepare and find ways, but ultimately, it will be the Lord that will get me to school on time!

Emmanuel ~ God With Us

My Head Never Goes Under

Isaiah 43:2 ~ "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you."

The promise of protection in the midst of trials is a comfort beyond words. God does not tell us that we will escape the waters, but that He will be there, standing right in the middle of the torrent with us. He stands strong, feet planted firmly on solid rock beneath the water. His hand holds mine tightly as the currents swirl madly around me. And though the water rises up and encircles my shoulders, my head never goes under. Praise God that He included 'Emmanuel' as one of His names. God with us! As I crawl under my quilt tonight, I will utter my humble thanks that He has not allowed my head to slip beneath the surface. I am worthy of drowning. But at the same time, because of Christ's blood, I am worthy of saving! Hallelujah! And most importantly, I will thank Him for allowing me to stand shoulder deep in the river for it is here, that I have met Him face to face and have realized His amazing grace and love for me! Let go the floodgates! I'm ready!

Something New

I've decided to change my name from Chins Up (which only had meaning at the beginning of this blog, but now doesn't reflect its purpose) to The Faith Expedition. Since I seem to be on this incredible journey of discovery, hardship and new found faith, I thought this new name more appropriate. Feel free to eliminate the 'chins up' reference. Blessings to all!

Becky

p.s. The URL remains www.chinsup.blogspot.com

A Promise Is A Promise

Looking For Peace On A Windy Night

Tonight's Prayer

Psalm 42:11 ~ Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

As I crawl under my quilt tonight I will simply put my hope in God. There is nothing else. And yet...I will praise His name. Thank you Father for loving me even still.

The God Of Glory Thunders

I See Him In The Thunder

Job 37:5 ~ God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things

beyond our understanding.

When I read that verse out loud, I get the chills. The feelings created by the author's words are awe, wonder, humility, hope and a sense of great peace that it's okay that I don't understand the why's of life. He is in charge and is doing great things for me, marvelous things. I have always loved the thunder. It has always filled me with a sense of wonderment at the power and majesty of nature and the Creator. I like to feel a little afraid when it rumbles so loud the house shakes. That little bit of fear makes me feel alive. I love the intensity of thunder. The undeniable force of it. There is no power on earth great enough to stop it. And so, to ascribe the characteristics of thunder to God brings me the same peace, knowing that there is no power on earth or 'beneath the earth' that can stop God's plan for me or can alter the course He has set me on. Knowing that releases me from fear and doubt and the pressure to understand and know what is happening. That is especially comforting when I can't understand! As I crawl under my quilt tonight, I will let go of my striving to understand. I will give my life and its details over to the God who does great things beyond my understanding!

Ivy Waits For Lucious

What Women Want

This blog is for the women who grace me with their presence here on a daily basis. But its also for the men. I'd like to know what they think. Girls, if you could pick one moment in a movie that encapsulates what love means to you what would it be? Men...same question. Here is my answer:

The Movie: The Village by M.Night Shymalan

The Scene: Ivy Walker (the blind heroin) is in danger. Instead of running into the house and climbing down into the cellar with everyone else, she stands out on the porch and holds her hand straight out in front of her. The 'creatures' are coming closer and she knows she is in peril. But more importantly, she knows that Luscious, the man that she loves will come for her and bring her to safety. At the last second, he does come, takes her hand and pulls her inside.

Why That Speaks To Me: Don't get me wrong, I do not want to be the damsel in distress waiting for my knight in shining armour to come and rescue. However, love to me, means knowing without a doubt that he will be there for me when I need him most. That my needs, my safety, and my happiness are important to him. That when he is with me, I am emotionally and physically safe. And...when I am with him, he is emotionally and physically safe. That I will be there for him and that his needs are important to me. That there is safety between us. We are connected.

Please, if you have a moment, share your favorite movie moment with me. And as I crawl under my quilt tonight, I will ask my Father to help me to be what I want to have. If I want safety, to be a safe place. If I want happiness, to bring happiness. If I want my needs met, be a need 'meeter'. And if I want love, be a giver of unconditional love. Thank you Father that You can be our safety, our happiness, our satisfaction and our true love!

Rain Down Rivers Of Mercy

Let Your Love Rain Down

Let Your love rain down I need to feel Your presence Lord

Let Your love rain down I am weak and thirsty

Let Your love rain down Reach in and heal my lonely heart

Let Your love rain down I need to feel Your touch

You are willing, I am here You are faithful, draw me near

In Your arms are love and peace Ever always I will be
Lord let Your love rain down Lord

Let Your love rain down Rivers of mercy

Rain on me, rain on me

There are days when I ask my Father to drench me with His love, soak me from head to toe in His mercy and grace. Today, I needed a flood! As I crawl under my quilt tonight I will ask my Father to rain down His love on me and quench my thirst.

An Angel In The Intersection

Making Every Second Count

Tonight, I came within a second of likely losing my life. I had just entered an intersection on a green light when I saw out of the corner of my eye, a large pickup truck and a car speeding through the intersection on a red light. I stopped just in time as they blew through the light and missed my car. The truck was big and going extremely fast. In my little compact car I would have been toast. As I drove on towards home, tears were streaming down my face as I contemplated what had just happened. I thank God, I have another morning to wake up to my beautiful son. I will hug him tightly when I pick him up out of his crib. I don't know why God saved me tonight, but I do know that He knows the number of days I have on this earth and I want to use them all for His glory. I will trust His plan for my life and do my best to be a good soldier for Him. As I crawl under my quilt tonight, I will just breath a sigh of relief and utter my humble thanks to Him who shows me grace and mercy every moment of my life.

A Firm Foundation

In The Eye Of The Storm

Ever feel like you live in the eye of the storm? Like your world is being ripped apart? I have felt like that for months now. I feel like the house in tonight's photograph. Flying apart. Just barely holding things together. Proverbs 30:21 says, "Under three things the earth trembles, under four it cannot bear up." I feel at times like I am at number 3 and fear that if number 4 comes, I will be destroyed. And then, Christ reaches down and lifts me out of harms way. He reminds me that with Him as my foundation, when the tornado passes through, I will still be standing in the end. He never said the winds wouldn't blow on us as His children, He just promises to be with us. He promised not to give us more than we can endure. And so, as I crawl under the quilt tonight, I will cling tightly to my foundation and let the winds blow hard around me for I am safe, anchored to Christ.

Luke 8: 25 ~ He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. Where is your faith He asked his disciples? In fear and amazement they asked one another, Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.

Tears

Praise To Him Who Hears

I know my sons cry. I can recognize it anywhere, even when other babies are crying at the same time. In the middle of the night, I awaken the instant he cries, long before my husband ever hears him. I am tuned into him. I know my sons cry. I am aware tonight, that my heavenly Father knows my cry. He hears me no matter where I am. He hears me long before anyone else. He is tuned into me. My Father knows my cry. That is a very comforting thought. When the noises of this world can drown out my tears, He hears. When others turn their back on me and don't want to listen, He hears. When I cry alone, in the silence of the night, He hears. And He not only hears, but He cares deeply and has the answers that I seek. As I crawl under my quilt tonight I will give thanks to Him who hears, cares, helps, rescues, saves, uplifts, encourages and loves!

Let Me Be A Sweet, Sweet Sound In Your Ear

The Mighty Power Of Words

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me!" We used to chant those words to each other as children, but even then I knew that it was not true. The sting of careless words echoed on in my mind for a long time. As a matter of fact, I can still here some of those childhood words replaying like a CD on 'continuous shuffle' in my 41 year old head. Thoughtless words were tossed my way early this morning and I can still feel the bite of them as I sit here at the computer tonight. It's made me think about all the times I've said things that hurt others. How I wish I could take them back. How I wish life had a delete button or a backspace key. There are so many things I wish I hadn't said. The good news is, words also have the power to heal and encourage and lift someone's spirits. And there are many of those lovely words also still playing in my mind. I want to be a person that uses my words to heal, not destroy; encourage, not trample down; show love, not hate. As I crawl under my quilt tonight, I will ask my Father to be the guardian of my words. I will ask the Holy Spirit to be the inspiration of my words, and I will ask Christ to be the master of my words.

Psalm 19:14 ~ May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

What's Your Elephant?

The Elephant In The Room

I'm terrible at confrontation. I mean really terrible. I'd just as soon pretend there is no problem as address it. However, I have discovered that this is not a healthy approach to life. The other day, someone who is helping me tremendously through this difficult time gave me a really good analogy. He said a problem not dealt with honestly and up front is like an elephant in the room. Everyone knows it's there. You can't miss it. It's over there, in the corner just staring at you. At first, you can probably skirt around it. You can turn up the T.V. so you can't hear it, turn your back on it and play the 'I can't see you, so you're not there' game, throw a colorful blanket over it and call it something else. But eventually, the elephant crap will start to pile up. You can push it into the farthest corner, try plugging your nose, but sooner or later the crap will start to spread across the room. It will begin to pile up so high around you that you will finally have to do something about it. I'm afraid I've let a lot of elephant crap build up around me. Time to start shoveling and hopefully learn a valuable lesson. Deal with the elephant right away, and if need be, call in an expert 'Mahout' to handle the beast. As I crawl under the quilt tonight I will ask God to give me the strength of character I need to be a person who faces the elephant head on. I'll also ask Him to help me confront with love and gentleness and a sensitive spirit.

From The Rising Of The Sun To The Going Down Of The Same, The Name Of The Lord Is To Be Praised!

Hope Is Not Fatalistic Resignation

"Hoping does not mean doing nothing. It is not fatalistic resignation. It means going about our assigned tasks, confident that God will provide the meaning and the conclusion. It is not compelled to work away at keeping up appearances with a bogus spirituality. It is the opposite of desperate and panicky manipulations, of scurrying and worrying. And hoping is not dreaming. It is not spinning an illusion or fantasy to protect us from our boredom or our pain. It means a confident, alert expectation that God will do what he said he will do. It is imagination put in the harness of faith. It is a willingness to let God do it in his way and in his time. It is the opposite of making plans that we demand that God put into effect, telling him both how and when to do it".-- Eugene Peterson.

As I crawl under my quilt tonight, I will find comfort in knowing that I am doing my best and can relax in knowing God can and will do the rest. "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus name. On Christ the solid rock I stand!"

Those that wait on the Lord...shall rise up with wings as eagles.

Wait For It...

I am convinced that God has a miracle in store for me. The hard part is waiting. And in the waiting, I am learning trust like I have never known before. And in the trust, I am learning patience like I have never known before. And in the patience I am learning peace like I have never known before. And so, my soul will wait for the Lord. And I can say, with sincere joy in my heart, that I am thankful for the waiting.

"For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay." ~ Habakkuk 2:3

"I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord." ~ Psalm 40:1-3

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord." ~ Psalm 27:14

"As for me, I will watch expectantly for the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me." ~ Micah 7:7

"The Lord sustains all who fall and raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food in due time." ~ Psalm 145:14-15

As I crawl under my quilt tonight, I will close my eyes, and hear God whisper my name. He will remind me that He will never forsake me. He will tell me that He has not forgotten about me. He will tell me that He will bless me for the waiting. He will answer me and it will be the right answer at the right time. And He will give me the strength and the courage to accept the answer. And I will trust Him. And I will smile and say, "Just wait for it Becky...wait for it!"