The Forecast is for a Mix of Sun and Cloud
It's been a while since I've updated you on my marriage situation. For those of you who are new friends, back in November of last year, my husband of 3 years left me and my 7 month old son. It's been a heartbreaking journey but God has been good. We are in marriage counseling and my husband maintains that there is still hope of a reconciliation. The waiting is so hard and there have been many, many, many nights where I have sobbed into the dawning day. God has given me a vision to hold on and not give up hope even though everyone around me has given up and continuously encourage me to do so. I have made a vow to God to remain faithful and wait for His voice to advise and guide me.
So, how's it going now? Well, it's still heartbreaking but I have not backed down on my conviction that marriage is forever and I am still believing. (Even though I have just stopped crying after my husband's visit a few minutes ago. Every time he leaves, its like the first day he left, all over again.) Anyways, I have certainly traveled up and down the sides of this valley. Some days, I get a glimpse of the sunshine over the edge. And then there are days when I seem to be crawling on the valley floor beneath a low fog, bumping my head on boulders, slipping on slime with a huge pack on my back. And God is there with me too, even when I look up through the slime and the fog and shake my fist at Him. Right now I'm standing in the valley and it's one of those cloudy, sunny days where the rays peak through the grey every once in a while, just long enough to lift your spirits a little and remember that the Son, even when we don't see Him is still there.
posted by The Faith Expedition at 7:14 p.m.
11 Comments:
i admire your determination to listen to the Lord, rather than anyone else ... who else speaks life to us but God ... who else knows what the end will be, only our Heavenly Father ... i pray your sleep is sweet tonight and that you wake up refreshed ... one day this pilgrimage will only be a memory ... we'll be dining with the King ...
Becky, I, too, am glad you are listening to Him rather than loved ones. Stand firm. Difficult? Yes. Is obedience worth it? Yes.
You are such a beautiful young woman who radiates her faith in her Lord! Your writing is filled to overflowing with your relationship with our Lord! Truly, you offer encouragement through your open writing. Thank you. {{{hugs}}}
Becky, having been where you are, although for me it was over 20 years ago, I can tell you that following our Father's voice will bring you much joy, much peace. Hard, you bet! Lonely, yes. Frustrating, at times. Keeping your eyes focused on the One who heals, loves and forgives is the only way. For us it was a loving couple who mentored us and showed us how to love each other, how to forgive each other and how to allow the gold in our marriage to be refined. I pray that He will show his face to you, your husband and that your counselors will help you each to see His direction CLEARLY. Blessings to you, your son and your husband.
Becky,
The key is to keep on keeping on. God will work it all out for His good if we love Him and are called according to His purpose.
Which way He will work it out we can't say. But it will be the best way.
So glad you are following hard after God. My husband of 22 years and I have never actually been separated, but becoming saved and living for what seemed like 100 years to an unbeliever was very difficult. How I couldn't believe God would drag me through the mud like that! Yet, I came to know Him, and came to be able to live above the circumstances of this world and find true rest in Him. He is a jealous God and wants to purify our affections to Himself above all else.
becky, i so admire you for your convictions. God will make a way. still praying for you, becky. God bless.
Your faith is indeed inspiring. You and your family are in my prayers.
Like Saija and Claire, I admire your determination to listen to the Lord, rather than to the world. That is a true testimony in itself.
I've walked where you are, too. We didn't have any children, so I can only imagine that that adds more to the complexity of the situation. But I can relate to all the feelings and struggles you're going through.
And from everything I read in your blog, I can see God's providential hand in your life. He is giving you grace for the moments - as they come. That is so evident. It is inspiring. :)
Cling to Him; He is our only hope.
Much love~
Listening to Him, I know He's told you that He is enthralled with your beauty. He loves you just as you are and thinks you are tremendously special. It may be tempting to try to change to please you husband so he will come back to stay. Don't. Change only to be acceptable to God, not man. When you are right with Him, then other godly relationships will be perfectly aligned in Him. I have lifted you up and will continue to do so. I graduate in December and I'm 50 years old! It can be done!
Becky, I pray for those days of continuous sunshine that will surely come.
Been keeping you in prayer today. God is working hard in your life. He knows what He is doing. He isn't breaking your heart into a bunch of pieces for nothing, but because you are His workmanship. Thanks for visiting. I am pretty sure my husband is a Christian now as of almost 3 years, but I know only because he is a totally different person, well, a lot different person than he was, goes to church with me and has had some marginal testimonies suggesting he is a believer. What I preferred was a testimony like Peter's, "Thou art the Christ..." You see, I dearly want to look to, and to trust my husband rather than God, and I kind of want to control him too. No such luck. God is faithful. Oh so much God has shown me, about my own self-righteousness, about my boxing Him in. Right after the time that my husband I think accepted Christ was the time he was the most rebelious, and that drove me crazy and confused my faith. But it was short lived and since then, like I said, he has been pretty great. It is amazing, both his change and mine. God put your husband in your life to change you, among other reasons. Brad was God's hammer upon my very dense ways.
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