When God Says, "Love."

Tonight, I feel an urgency to write about love. Not the kind of love that the world sells, but the kind of love Christ reflected and God commanded. Not the kind of love that gives up when it no longer 'feels good'. Not the kind of love that promises forever but really means as long as it's easy. No, I mean the kind of love that requires something of us. Love that requires us to die to self. That's not a very popular ideology today. Why should I have to die to self? Surely, we [women] have come a long way from those days when we suffered in silence and obeyed without question. Why should I hang on when it no longer feels good? Surely it is more important to find happiness and live to please me. Why should I persevere when all around me, others are giving up and jumping ship? Surely, no one would judge me, I've already given it my best. No one would blame me for quitting now. These are thoughts and questions I face daily as I talk with God and walk amongst family and friends who would be relieved to see me move on. It would be so much easier for everyone.

Well, I'm here to tell you tonight, that I am a strong woman, I am a confident woman and I am an intelligent woman. And I will not give up on love. I will continue to persevere. I will endure and die to self and hold my tongue and serve and uplift and encourage. I will love. Not because it's easy, not because I have some super-human capacity to love. I will go on loving because this is what God has called me to do. This is my reflection to Joe of Christ's love for him. This is my gift to our marriage. This was my promise, my vow.

This past week I have been told: "You are being led around by your nose. You are being taken advantage of. You deserve better. No one will blame you for giving up. You need to look out for yourself now. You've done all you can. Dump him. Move on. He's not worth it. And on and on and on..."

And so, I ignored all those voices and I asked God and He just keeps saying this one word over and over to me. "Love." That's it, just love. I ask Him for wisdom and the right words and insight. And He says, "Love." I ask Him for a sign, for peace, for a miracle. And He says, "Love." I ask Him to intervene, to change, to heal and He says, "Love."

Is there someone in your life that has hurt you, disappointed you, let you down? Put aside your anger, your hurt and all of your rights and just ask Christ to fill you to overflowing with love. And let Him do the rest. Whatever the outcome for me, I will know that I have loved with all my heart and all my soul and God's will, will be done.