A Lonely Embrace

Loneliness embraces me tonight. Not a gentle, loving embrace but a suffocating, heart thumping in my chest, tears spilling down my face kind of embrace. I'm here, sitting in front of this computer screen typing these words in an effort to disengage myself from it's grip. It is tenacious. It is heartless. It is not of my God. Loneliness is the one thing that can grab hold of my faith and shake it, hard. It's the toughest opponent of all for me. And with loneliness comes a host of other parasitic feelings; like pity and anger and fear. And so it builds until faith and hope are just distant flashes in the night sky. But I know, as a child of God, I must move towards those tiny lights for they are truth. They are telling me that I am not alone, the Creator of the Universe sits beside me. How dare I feel alone in His presence? His promises speak to my heart and I feel the grip relax just slightly. This is what I hear: The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8 The tears have stopped, the weight has lifted from my chest and I can breathe easier. So I say, "more Father, I need more." And I find these words, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2 And I am free. Oh, there will be more nights, more days, more moments like this one, but my Father will be there for them all. He understands. He has suffered loneliness as well, He has felt forsaken. I'm so glad He did. He must have known that we would need to know that He has walked this same path and felt the tight grip of loneliness.