The Fleece and the Lamb

Two days ago, I challenged the Lord and laid a fleece before Him. It's not something that I have done very often in my life and I understand the 'dangers' of directing God. However, I felt I was at a cross-roads in my journey and I needed a definite answer from Him on which way I should go. I told Him that this was not the time for subtle clues or hidden answers or the 'just trust Me' speech. I needed an answer and I wanted it by this morning. And so, at 7:45 a.m., He answered me in an undeniable and tangible way. It was so miraculous that I instantly dropped to my knees beside my bed and the tears erupted from my eyes. I only said two words, "Thank You" before I got up and got ready for school.

Two days ago, I faced God squarely and presented to Him a symbol. Beside my bed, on my nightstand, I placed a tiny stuffed 'beanie baby' lamb. I told God that it was going to stay there to remind Him that I am but a little lost lamb, stubborn, sometimes dumb, many times foolish and completely dependent on Him to care for me. I firmly reminded Him of His promise to me in Isaiah 40:11 "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." There were moments of anger as I laid out my expectations before Him, moments of fear as I challenged Him, moments of sorrow as I laid my head in His lap and cried.

I love my Lord with all my heart and I know that He loves me with all of His. But there are times in every relationship when you just need to speak out loud what's on your heart. You need to be bold and say, "Hey! Don't forget your promises to me!" And there are times when you need to hear direct answers to direct questions. And God, in His incredible mercy, looked down at me, the tiny ant shaking my fist up at Him, and He smiled that loving, knowing smile of a parent and He gathered me to His chest and He hugged me tightly and said, "Okay daughter. Okay."