Aloha And Welcome!

Well, today I went back to University. It was orientation and registration day for new students and 'old' ones like me who were returning after 17 years! When I arrived on campus I was met by about a hundred laughing, dancing, highly enthusiastic student 'helpers' all dressed in bright Hawaiian shirts directing me to go this way and that. The gap between them, as they yelled, "Welcome to Trinity Western!", at the top of their lungs and me, as I slinked around in my hair dyed to hide all the grey, felt enormous! First stop ... the Welcome Tent. Here I was instructed to pick up my student package containing I.D. card, mailbox key etc. and class schedule. Wouldn't you know it, I was no where to be found. They hunted high and low for any sign of me actually belonging there but nothing could be found. So, I was sent inside to see the Registrar. Once there, I was met with more befuddled people who couldn't find me. They sent me to the student center. More confusion there, still no sign of my 'package'. The student center sent me back to the Registrar. They sent me to a new place. The new place sent me back to the first place. So the first place sent me to another new place. They sent me back to the second place. Pant, pant. Yikes, my feet are killing me already! More Hawaiian helpers yelled welcome at me. Someone offered me a new cell phone plan, a student credit card, the University paper. Still no package. I walked past some very cute 'Hawaiian' jocks at tables set up to nab potential athletes. No one said welcome. Still no package. Suddenly, my cell phone rang out its familiar Caribbean salsa ring and a voice informed me to head back to the original office. My package was found! I did belong! Next I went to a meeting for mature students. I was the only one there. I felt ancient. My feet were burning, my back was aching and the pimply faced 'Hawaiian' waiting to greet the mature students looked as lost as I did. That was enough for me! I bought my text books (one of them cost $140.00!) and drove out past more screaming 'Hawaiians' yelling something about 'see you in class' and I was gone! I went and got a Dairy Queen Mocha MooLatte and tried to drown myself in icecream and chocolate. I am now going to bed. I hope this doesn't kill me!