F.A.I.N. to S.A.K.E.
I have recently been told that I have taken a very passive role in my own life; and that perhaps it is time that I started to take charge of my circumstances rather than my circumstances taking charge of me. It is a completely accurate assessment of my character, I must confess. I have always been terrible at confrontation and when faced with any difficult situation I have had a tendency to adopt one of the following responses: Forget, Avoid, Ignore or Neglect. I have decided to call this the F.A.I.N. Response. As in, "I would fain (rather) pretend that this predicament does not exist." The problem with this is, however, that not everything can safely fall under one of these headings. Some things, if you avoid them long enough will work themselves out or simply disappear. Other things however, as in marriage problems, health issues or financial woes, to name just a few, do not go away when ignored. As a matter of fact, they often grew bigger, get worse, intensify. This is where I have failed myself. And so, along with everything else, I am going to try and put the F.A.I.N. response where it belongs, say in the trash, and adopt a new attitude. I want to Seek out a solution. Act quickly, rather than put it off. Keep at it until it is resolved or improving and then Enjoy the benefits of taking an active role in my own life. I think I'll call it the S.A.K.E response. As in, "For my own sake and the sake of my marriage, my health and my finances, I need to make a change in the way I do things!" And so, as I crawl under my quilt tonight I will thank my Lord for bringing people into my life who speak the truth to me in love and challenge me to be the person I know He longs for and created me to be.
posted by The Faith Expedition at 9:44 p.m.
10 Comments:
Bravo! I am in a similiar place suffering by my own neglect of action. I have taken action the last few days. Only God knows the motive and result. Only He will and can keep it all togther. Help us dear Lord Jesus to walk in a way that pleases you. We so desperately need your help.
May God bless you in your journey - it's tough to be proactive in challenging circumstances.
The fact that you are a bloggers tells me that you hvae a Melancholy temperament. Have you seen "You got Mail"...
The lady plays a Melancholy, avoids conflict - while Tom Hanks plays the oppossitee - Choleric...takes an agrressive role.
You can and should learn to be more assertive - but rest easy with your own God given temparement. Melancholies have weaknessess - but also often tend to be the most successful.
They also tend to be hardest oon themselves!
Bravo, Becky! Like you I all too often use the FAIN approach to life. I hate confrontations! And, like you, I have found it healthier to adopt the SAKE approach. What I love about our Lord is how He loves us to accept us just as we are...however, He also loves us enough to not allow us to stay that way!
I thought of you this morning when I read Streams in the Desert...the George Mueller remark when someone asked him the best way to have strength..."The ONLY way," replied the patriarch of faith, "to learn strong faith is to endure great trials. I have learned my faith by standing firm amid severe testings."
Blessings on your day, Becky. {{Hugs}}
I don't think I've ever seen fain spelled out. In fact, until I read this entry I thought it was spelled feign for some reason. However, your acronyms are perfect. I need to learn my dictionary better.
Hey LJ...you're right, there is a feign. However it has a different meaning: To give a false appearance of as in "feign sleep."
Fain means 'rather or happily' as in the way I used it hear. So your dictionary is just fine! :)
Lionfish...yes, I am mostly a melancholic with a bit of sanguine thrown in for good measure. You're right, we are hard on ourselves though. (I take it you also fall under the banner of Melancholic?) I can be so assertive on behalf of others, but fail miserably in asserting my own needs. It's learning to find that balance, not be a push-over, but not be pushy.
Dennis & Claire...
Wow, 2 Bravo's in one blog! That's a record for me :)!! It's funny how when you write things you think everyone else is better at a certain thing than you are and then people respond and say, "Hey, I struggle with the same thing." There's comfort in knowing that others share the same struggles and are trying to be better at it. That's the beauty of opening up and sharing even your weaknesses and failures! We can use them to encourage others to say, "Hey, you're not alone."
I'm a Melancholy Major with choleric Minor.
That was really great Becky. I tend to be FAIN in those situations too, especially finances. If my husband did not handle the sticky stuff, we would live in a shack! I can be extremely confrontational about other things. I think that your SAKE acronym is the perfect balance! I agree with Lionfish, Melancholy, blogging gives us a great outlet. I tend to not be the most social person unless I am in my element--it's easier on-line.
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