Angry

Anger...an emotion I try to avoid. However, I feel it often as I'm sure most do. I feel angry when I watch the news and hear about an injustice. I feel angry when a reckless driver endangers me and my small son. I feel angry at myself when I fail or make mistakes. But most of that anger is internalized...seldom seen or heard. Tonight I feel a different kind of anger. I feel angry at God and angry at the one who has caused such hurt in my life. It's an ugly emotion. It doesn't make me feel good to feel this way. I don't feel better for having admitted my anger. I don't feel pleased that I was able to express it. I just feel angry. So I'll crawl under the quilt tonight and I'll ask God to forgive me for my anger and heal the hurt and give me the strength I need to make it through another night and another day. I'll ask Him to fill me again with love and grace and to help me stand against the author of all anger and negativity. I'll ask Him to guard my mind and direct my thoughts in ways that are pleasing to Him. But I'm not under the quilt yet, so for a few more minutes, I'll just feel angry!