A long-overdue update

Okay, I know...it's been forever and most likely there are very, very few, if any of you still haunting this ol' blog. But just in case there are a few of you still lingering in cobwebbed corners, I wanted to wish you a very happy new year! Yay 2010! I also wanted to let you know that after 4 1/2 years, Joe and I are giving our marriage a 2nd chance. It's amazing to me, reading back over the tearful blogs of many, many lonely and painful nights, that in God's own time, He has answered my prayers. I can't lie. It did seem to take Him FOREVER! But as always His timing was exactly as it should be...not too late, not too soon, but exactly perfect...when each duck was in it's place in the row, He bent low to my ear and whispered..."now daughter, now is the time. I promised to answer your prayers. You waited faithfully and here is your reward. There is still more to learn...much more! There are still mountains to climb, valleys to tremble through, rivers that will threaten to run wild over you, but now is the time for THIS prayer to be answered. Go carefully, wisely, and prayerfully...but go with confidence and trust that I am the God of your past, present and future and I go with you." Thank you to all that prayed with me! My love still goes out to you as I re-read my blogs. You were there for me. May God bless your life for standing by me. *hugs*

The Finish Line!

Well dear friends...last Saturday I graduated university with my B.A. It's hard to believe that I made it! I even passed math! Just my one year practicum to get my B.Ed and I'll be a teacher. Thank you to all who have continued to pray for me. Don't stop!! I still need your care! The next hurdle I'm facing is finding a cheaper place for Kyle and I to live. I need to move by July 1st or I'll be completely out of funds. However, I'm trusting and hoping and knowing that God will more than adequately take care of this little lamb. Blessings to you all.

A photo update of 'The Prince'

Nearing the end of the race...

Why is it that the final meters of a race are the hardest? Just when our projects are nearly finished, just those last few pounds, just that last paper, the last final exam...that's when we most feel like giving up! For me, even when I know that I'm nearly there, when the finish line is in sight, I still feel like sitting down and not budging another inch. It's infuriating! Frustrating! Exhausting! That's where I'm at right now. I've worked so hard over the past couple of years to finish my teaching degree. I'm nearly there! Just one more month! And yet, I feel utterly defeated. I just want to quit. Do you know what I think it is? I think it's Satan. I think that it just kills him when we complete a task! I think he hates it when we succeed at what we set out to accomplish! I think it makes him mad to see us so close to realizing a dream come true! And so, his nasty little strategy is to make us feel defeated right at the most crucial time. He glories in seeing us waiver, our legs begin to buckle, our head drop low, our shoulders sag, our eyes lose sight of the prize that's waiting for us if we finish. "As I near the finish line, Lord help me to keep my eyes focused on You. Help me to run these last few steps with courage and determination. Help me to not waiver, not buckle, not crumble. Help me make this dream come true Lord and I promise that I will use it to honour you."

What I long for...

It is what I long for...

Not the absense of sorrow
but the presence of joy within it.

Not the absense of pain
but the presence of love surrounding it.

Not the absense of suffering
but the presence of grace above it.

For life without sorrow, and pain and suffering is also a life without joy and love and grace.

Still believing....Becky

Making Jesus Smile

Today, my little 2 year old man prayed to Jesus all by himself for the first time. He closed his eyes tightly, folded his hands and asked Jesus to keep him safe, bless Mommy, Daddy, Nana, Papa and his cousins (which he carefully named) then he prayed for his dog, his teddy bear and then said, "In Jesus name, amen." As he finished I had the definite impression that Jesus was standing next to my son and just beaming from ear to ear. How sweet, like honey on the lips, must those first words uttered in child-like faith sound to Christ. I think that of all the prayers to come, of all the well spoken utterences, none would sound as sweet. My prayer is that Kyle would know Christ early and that he will seek after Him as he makes his way through this life.
"In Jesus name, amen."

Directionally Challenged

So many times throughout this long journey I have found myself standing squarely in the center of a crossroad. Sometimes, choosing the right way is clear. Sometimes, the road in all directions is muddy, crooked, overgrown with weeds, full of potholes and littered with boulders and I am utterly confused. Do I turn left? do I turn right? do I go straight? do I run back the way I came? Mostly, if I wait paitently, prayerfully and with faith, God places His hands ever so lightly on my shoulders and gives me a slight nudge in the right direction. But sometimes, there is no nudge, no whisper, no light touch of a divine hand. There is only silence as the dust blows around me and impedes my view. Tonight I stand in this dusty place and I don't know what to do. The most frustrating thing is that I'm sure I've been here before. But how can that be? If I was here before, then I must have moved on since, by reason, I'm here again. So which way did I turn last time? Was it wrong? Is that why I've circled back? Did I repeat a mistake? Was I disobedient and so God has allowed me to walk in a huge circle so I can get it right this time? How do we ever really know that we're going the right way when we are faced with a difficult choice? I don't think I'm the first Pilgrim to ask this question. As a matter of fact, I know I'm not. But oh, how I wish the way would straighten out again. I wish that I could write that I can finally see where I'm going, the turrets of the castle are in sight. I see the flag waving, and the sounds of the fanfare drift over the last few miles and urge me on home. I long to rest beside those promised quiet waters. I want so much to lay down in those luscious green pastures. Ahh. But the Valley still lays stretched out before me and so, I will lift one foot up and place it down in front of the other and I will smile and have hope and continue on until I have learned everything God wants for me to learn and perhaps, sooner than later, the dust will settle, the valley will open up and there before me I shall see my home sweet home.

Reaching The Summit!

Well dear friends, to those of you who have hung in with me even though I have only rewarded you with long periods of silence...I did it! I've finished a whole year of university! I can hardly believe ti! All I can say is that Jesus did it all the way! I could never, ever, under my own power, have accomplished what I've accomplished over this unbelievably difficult year! I'm still waiting on the results of my final exams but I think that for the most part, I've done very well. Again, thank goodness God is all knowing because when it came to my exams, I sure wasn't. However, He worked in some very mysterious ways this week, helping me to focus primarily on the very things that ended up on the exams. In my Renaissance Poetry and Prose exam, out of 7 long essay questions, we had to choose 4 to write on and there were exactly 4 that I was totally prepared to write about. That's pretty incredible considering we studied about 80 poems, (some very long), a half dozen essays and Pilgrim's Progress. The odds of me studying the exact 4 poems I would need for the exam....pretty incredible. Anyhow, other things like that happened over the week and I had amazing recall, something that I usually really struggle with in exams. I usually freeze up and draw a complete blank when I turn over the exam.

So, now the summer! I'm so excited to spend some quality time with my darling boy. He's really been a trooper as well but he has certainly missed his Mommy. We're going to spend lots of time sitting at the beach and playing in the pool.

I hope to be much more active in blog world, probably just about the time you all will wind down for the summer and take vacations. Oh well...

Love Becky