Lying On Life's Highway

I told a friend yesterday that at one point during this physical ordeal, I said, "I feel as if I'm lying on life's highway, and someone said, 'Hey, look at her, she's already down. Let's go kick her!'" Now that is truly a pity party gone wild if I ever heard one. Granted, I had a high fever at the time and was having my fourth intervenous, so...I'm gonna cut myself a bit of slack here. However, now that the mind is clearing and the pain is gone, I must ask my Father to forgive me...again. I want so bad to be one of those women who rise above every circumstance with grace and faith still strong. Instead, when things get tough, I feel abandoned by God, faith nearly forgotten, grace lost somewhere in the kleenex and baggy pj's and retching. When I read the words of those hero's in scripture who suffered for Christ with such strength and bravery and dignity...Paul, Stephen, John and many, many others, I wonder if I can ever even begin to attain what I feel I am called to attain. As I crawl under my quilt this afternoon for a nap, I will praise God that I don't have to reach perfection, that He knows what I am able to endure and that He will help me every step of the way. I am also thankful that He has cared for me, that I live in a country where I can receive such excellent medical attention, and that I made it through!