Will You Forgive Me?

I want to start by apologizing to you all. I've been wallowing in grief and sadness and I have forgotten to encourage you and lift your spirits. My prayer, from the beginning of this journey, has been that in everything God would be glorified and that my brothers and sisters in Christ would be better for knowing me and hearing my story. I wanted to walk this path with dignity and with a spirit of hope and grace. I wanted my courage to inspire someone else to be courageous. I have wanted to bless you through my struggle and to encourage you to not give up in the fight to do what you know is right. For the past few weeks, I have forgotten about you. Today, God reminded me to lift you up. So, let me encourage you, every one of you. God is at work. He is with us. I don't mean that He is 'with us' in that churchy, christianese way we have of saying that. No, I mean He is physically with us. I know. I've felt Him. He stood beside me as I faced the most painful moment of my life and all my hairs stood on end, and I was freezing cold and I knew without a doubt that God was in the room. I wanted to tell you that so that when you face what may come in the moments, days, weeks ahead, you will remember that I felt God's presence and know that He is standing with His children. He has not forgotten us. He has not abandoned us. He has not overlooked us. Oh no. The very opposite is true. I feel that He is more tangibly with us than ever before. I'm not sure why I have this conviction but I do and I felt tonight that you needed to know that. God is bigger than my sorrow, bigger than my deepest pain, mightier than my strongest enemy, more fierce than a million warriors. I also feel that I must speak these words of exhoration: The God of the New Testament is the same as the God of the Old and He is never changing. Christ made a way for us to know Him and to receive His forgiveness, but...He is still Almighty God and He is not to be toyed with. That thought has utterly changed my faith this week. My encounter with God shook me to the core and made me realize that I needed to change the way I viewed Him. Up until now, my view of God was always the God of grace, never the God of justice, always the God of mercy, never the God of wrath, always God the Father, never the God to be feared. Yes, Jesus made a way, but God is still God and those He loves, He chastens. However, as we learn the lessons we must learn, He is also the God of comfort and love. May you all experience His presence and may He bless you all for standing beside me on the battlefield. For you are more to me than just names on a blog, you are my friends. The victory is secured in Him already! Let's party!